Recommended Reading

Kindle e-Reader

Many people who separate are keen to read about other people's experiences and get advice about what to do and how to cope emotionally.  You will save a lot of money by investing in an e-reader, as e-books are much less expensive than the printed version.  I thoroughly recommend the Kindle. The Kindle is light, compact, stores 4GB of books and the battery lasts for weeks.  You can highlight areas of the text as well as make your own notes to come back to. The technology in the way the screen is lit is much easier on your tired eyes than a backlit, blue light e-reader.  Unlike other e-readers, the 'paperwhite' screen technology means you can read the Kindle clearly, even in the brightest light. The features offered in the Kindle Paperwhite justifies the higher price in my view however, the basic Kindle is more than adequate if your budget is tight.

Advantages of Kindle Paperwhite over the basic Kindle - Built-in light – Longer battery life – 3G option.
Advantages of the basic Kindle over Kindle Paperwhite - Cheaper price – Very light in weight.

A Kindle may be slightly cheaper if you buy it from Amazon.  Delivery takes around 5 days. If you want one now, head down to Target, BigW, Harvey Normans or Dick Smith's whilst they are still open.

Already have an e-Reader and want to read Kindle books?  Get the Free Kindle Reading App.

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

Getting Past Your Breakup is a proven roadmap for overcoming the painful end of any romantic relationship, even divorce.  'It is more than a breakup book, it is a book about how to live your life as a happy and complete person. The book offers not only ways to get past your breakup, but ways to build your confidence, be happy single, and be happy in a relationship.  It is appropriate for any gender, any age, and any sexuality. Susan is careful not to use heteronormative or gender specific language. The book also takes into account that the readers may be at very different points in their lives - from in college, to having kids and beyond.'

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How to have a Healthy Divorce

Part of the series from the very successful 'Relate' organisation in UK, this is an accessible, sympathetic and uncomplicated guide to facing divorce with pragmatism and optimism, helping you to emerge from a healthy divorce with valuable lessons learnt and the tools to build a secure and fulfilling future.

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Mars and Venus Starting over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again after a Painful Break-up, Divorce or the Loss of a Loved One

From the author or the worldwide best seller 'Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus'.  'Only those willing to put in the work should read this book. I started an emotional journey toward emotional healing this weekend and I am grateful. John helps you to be honest with yourself in a very healthy safe way. DIVORCE SUCKS! That will never change. Nothing prepares you for the pain, whether divorce was necessary or not. This book is helping me to sort through the myriad of feelings I am encountering.'

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Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Badmouthing and Brainwashing

Divorce Poison is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children.  'An absolute must read for any practitioner, parent or loved one of a parent who is dealing with these issues, whether actively involved in litigation or not. Dr. Warshak breaks down the considerations and issues related to genuine parental alienation issues, as well as discusses the dangers of misidentifying parental alienation in a way that is easy to digest by any reader.'

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The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

'I recommend this book to all my clients and colleagues. In a very accessible and captivating way, Dr Russ Harris made us understand how our mind can sometimes be an enemy to living a rich, vital and meaningful life. The book is full of EFFECTIVE, evidence-based strategies to effectively respond to our distressing emotions, thus reducing their impact on us. It also gives us strategies to disentangle ourselves from self-defeating thoughts. As we are able to free ourselves from the impact of unhelpful thoughts and feelings, we stop fighting them, and can invest our energy in living our life. The Happiness Trap is the most accessible, easiest to understand book on ACT therapy." Dung Nguyen, Psychologist, Adelaide.

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How to Survive the Loss of a Love

This book described to me exactly what I was going through. It did not seek to reframe the experience within the author's religious views. It did not seek to impose a decision or a philosophy on me. It did not try to get me to DO anything. It simply described exactly what was happening, and it did it in a way that made it okay for me to feel the way I was feeling.

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DIVORCE: Think Financially, Not Emotionally® Volume I: What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, and After Divorce

'This book series focuses on the financial aspects of divorce and covers everything that a women should consider as well as steps to take to get yourself into a position of financial stability. Divorce can be scary for a woman who has given up her career to become a stay at home mom - as this is the situation I found myself to be in. As someone who had become a dependent spouse over the years, I found this book to be reassuring because it helped me to become informed and also to understand that I have options. I found it to be easy to read and understand and it helped me to take action / move forward during a difficult time. I recommend this book to all women who are considering or going through a divorce.'

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Money, Marriage, and Divorce Making the Most of Your Assets in Good Times and Bad

A practical commonsense guide to protecting your financial assets throughout marriage and divorce. Money is always a tricky subject to broach. By agreeing on a financial plan, you will eliminate many money-related arguments. Being clear-headed about money also means you can protect your assets if you are divorcing - not from each other, but from a costly divorce process and the increased expenses of living separately. 

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Difficult Questions Kids Ask (and Are Afraid to Ask) About Divorce

'I am a clinical psychologist, and have recommended this book over and over again. Its the one guide I have seen that covers how to answer questions in developmentally appropriate ways for all ages of children. The author understands how kids of different ages think and what they are likely to be feeling most intensely. What a wonderful guide, and well written!' 

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The Truth About Children and Divorce Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive

'As a clinical psychologist, I am grateful to have this book to recommend to my patients who are in or contemplating a divorce.  In "The Truth about Children and Divorce", Dr. Emery provides parents with an overview of the divorce research that is neither fatalistic or sugar coated. From his years of clinical practice, he offers detailed and specific "scripts" of what to say to tell the children at different ages and in different situations (such as when there is an affair), thoughts on different custody schedules and advice about establishing a co-parenting relationship. Most importantly, Dr. Emery writes in the compassionate and personal voice of someone who has coached many a parent through the difficult road of separating their pain from their parenting, and who has traveled this difficult road himself. If you only recommend one book, this should be it.'

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Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You

'Reading this book was both sad and a relief to learn that the ex's confusing behavior is in fact following a pattern set by many others - sad that so many people harm their children this way, but relieving because at least we can learn from these experiences of others. I found it interesting and encouraging that a lot of the book is not about how to deal with the ex directly, but about how to strengthen your bond with your child and help him or her develop a strong core of kindness, empathy, independence, and critical thinking skills (everything the other parent is in the process of destroying) so that he or she can resist brainwashing even when you're not there to help. Although the book doesn't promise miracles, it has definitely provided a strong glimmer of hope.'

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Putting Children First: A Handbook for Separated Parents

With family separations being part of today's society, it is important that the children's lives are affected only in a positive way and this can be achieved. It does, however, take a lot of hard work and this is where the book becomes an invaluable tool in the whole process.

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What About the Children?

'This is an absolute must for any adults who have contact with children, going through or having gone through divorce. It is an extremely easy read and gives very good, practical advice in a non-judgemental, matter of fact way, with the children being the priority. Julie Lynn Evans has gone through a divorce herself with 3 of her own children and is clearly a successful child and adolescent psychotherapist with over 20years experience, thus making her well qualified to write such a book.'

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Daddy's OK

Daddy's OK looks at the true experiences of 14 men going through separation or divorce. Their stories are told in three main stages: 'Eyes Opening' - how they become fully aware of what has occurred; 'Existing With What You See' - how they get through their lives while coming to terms with what is now visible, and; 'Living and loving' - making sense of life as it is and turning it into something positive and long-lasting. Each man has a story that is as similar as it is different, and each one of them illustrates things that work, and that don't work, to build stronger and healthier individuals, husbands, fathers, and family relationships generally.

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Splitsville: How to Separate, Stay Out of Court and Stay Friends

For the past 13 years, Family Lawyer, Clarissa Rayward has seen the damage the traditional divorce process causes to both adults and children. In her book Splitsville, Clarissa has provided a four step framework to ensure the readers experience of divorce is as pain free as possible. 

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