I don't know about you, but I've found that some of my happiest "mom moments" were also some of my most painful.
It didn't take long to get into the rhythm of the one week on/one week off lifestyle.
Note: not that it was easy!
And, a lot of my friends assumed that I would be at my loneliest when the kids were with their dad.
Sure, I missed my kids, but the times that I felt the loneliest? It's when I was fully present and proud of them in something that I was nearly beaming, grinning from ear to ear; or barely able to catch my breath because we were all laughing so hard.
So much joy, and pride, and love.
And so much pain, and a longing that felt like a sucker punch to the gut. That duality caught me off guard. Big time.
I finally came to realise, after years of self-discovery, that it wasn't just loneliness in the moment that caused this pain.
The root of my heartache was actually worthiness.
I had come to believe that I, in and of myself, didn't deserve all that goodness those moments had to offer if I wasn't able to share it with someone else.
That there was too much joy or pride or love for just me.
Once again, (always!) how much have I learned thru this beautiful, messy, process?
From peeling back all the layers of that "happily ever after" to find true happiness within myself, and not dependent on anyone else? And, in that learning, being able to create that new reality for my kids too.
Self-care isn't selfish. It's a necessity; especially for those of us who are giving so much to our families and to our work, when we want to make a difference in the world. Self-care is the way back to self-love, and self-acceptance. It's an invitation to accept our own worthiness.
How are you practising your self-care today?
Written by Tonia Adleta: Single mum, serial entrepreneur, who lives on strong coffee, red wine and dark chocolate, and gets giddy on strategy and the sound of a new stamp in her passport.
The nutshell version isn’t enough? OK, but it’s a long story….
Website: ToniAdleta.com
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