Should coercive control and parental alienation in family matters be a criminal offence?

Photo Copyright: altanaka / 123RF Stock Photo

 

What is coercive control?

According to a paper released by White Ribbon in 2011, “coercive control usefully describes a whole pattern of strategies employed by a man against a woman. Such strategies occur in an ongoing, even relentless pattern including isolation, intimidation, belittling, humiliation, threats, withholding of necessary resources such as money or transportation, and abuse of the children, other relatives, or even pets.”

Read: From Violence to Coercive Control: Renaming Men’s Abuse of Women

The White Ribbon paper deals specifically with abuse against women by men and while there's plenty of that about, the reverse is also happening on a widespread basis.

If you are a woman who is in or has survived an abusive relationship, you have my respect and empathy. This discussion does not seek to negate your circumstances, nor to encourage you to be more accommodating of your former partner. 

 

What about coercive control by women over men?

Despite a popular perception that coercive control is something only done by men to women, it could and should also apply to the behaviour of some mothers with resident care of children, towards the non-resident fathers.

Making life difficult for non-resident parents is a form of coercive control I see happening far too often and usually by mothers. I will make myself unpopular I am sure when I say that most often I notice this in women who have previously been stay-at-home mothers and the primary caregiver in their former relationship. Please don't read that as a dig at stay-at-home mothers. I was one and it worked well in our circumstances. However, when those circumstances change for many families, there is often an unwillingness for mothers to accept that fathers are also capable of caring for their children. I can say this with authority having been through it myself. While I made every effort to step back and allow my children's father to parent in his own right, it was a difficult, emotional and trying transition. 

 

Difficulty for Dads

Still, there are mothers who do not even try and repeatedly breach parenting orders. Quite frankly, very often, there is little the father can do about it without incurring significant costs for court appearances, legal representation and the involvement of family report writers, psychologists or independent children’s lawyers. In addition to the costs, the delays in getting a resolution through the courts mean that by the time the issue in question is addressed, the children have moved into a different phase of life. The court can amend orders but in reality, that is just a new set of orders to be breached.

The types of behaviour that could be considered coercive control include:

  • Repeatedly making last-minute, disruptive changes to previously agreed to contact arrangements

  • Constantly being late at drop off time thereby reducing the time the resident parent spends with the child and sabotaging the plans they had made for the child

  • Refusing to communicate except via solicitors – or refusing to communicate at all

  • Failing to consult the non-resident parent about holiday plans/medical matters/schooling and behavioural issues

  • Criticising or undermining the other parent to the children

  • Demanding that the children have no contact with a new partner

  • Obstructing contact arrangements by speaking on behalf of the child without asking about their wishes

  • Assuming the other parent is incapable of caring for a child who is not feeling well or is upset

  • Making unfounded allegations to people in the children’s lives, such as teachers, about the non-resident parent’s mental state or their lack of concern or parenting capabilities such that he is undermined and under pressure to prove his worth as a parent.

And perhaps in the most serious form:

  • Making false and unsubstantiated claims of mental, sexual or physical abuse towards either the mother or the child.

 

Parental alienation

Parental alienation is the process, and the result, of the psychological manipulation of a child. It leads to them showing unwarranted fear, disrespect and disdain or hostility towards the victimised parent or other family members. In my view, it's a form of child abuse and extreme psychological abuse of the alienated family member. Coercive control often develops into full-blown parental alienation and it would seem there is very little that the authorities can do about it. Reporting it to the police is a dead end and the family courts are so overburdened there is no joy there either. The courts can issue orders which would allow the police to intervene and enforce orders but at what cost, both financially to the non-resident parent and psychologically to the child?

Many fathers end up stepping back in the hope that their child will eventually see the truth of the situation.  While most do, looking back with adult eyes at their mother with a degree of resentment and disrespect for that part of her behaviour, many don’t. In the interim, too many fathers suffer heartache and anguish which all too frequently ends in a catastrophic loss of life. Around 2,000 Australians take their own lives every year, with males accounting for 78 percent of these deaths. Many of the male deaths are attributed to relationship breakdowns, specifically parental alienation.

 

Scotland moves to make coercive control a criminal offence

Scotland has recently introduced a draft Bill before parliament which aims to introduce a new domestic abuse criminal offence of 'coercive control'.  The draft Domestic Abuse (Scotland) Bill introduces a new offence of abusive behaviour towards a person’s partner or ex-partner covering both physical violence and non-physical abuse.

National Manager in Scotland of the Families Need Fathers (FNF) organisation, Ian Maxwell, commented on the current situation in Scotland saying, "At present non-resident parents experiencing coercive control feel unprotected by the law. If they report it to police they are told 'There's nothing we can do. It's a civil matter'. Or if there is a court order in place the only option is the slow, unpredictable and expensive route of raising a contempt of court action.

The situation is the same in Australia except the affected parent makes an application for enforcement or they can start contravention proceedings.

In terms of punishments that could be handed down for coercive control cases, the organisation in Scotland says there should be flexibility in the sentencing including community service as alternatives to imprisonment and/or fines.

In these types of parenting cases, it is not in anyone’s best interests for the parent who's been offended against to get the blame in the eyes of the children for sending the other parent to jail.

“The aim of sentencing should reflect the seriousness with which the court sees the offence but without inflicting further damage on the victim,” said Mr Maxwell.

 

Should Australia follow Scotland's lead?

I am in support of Australia introducing similar laws to curb the flagrant disregard some parents have for court orders in family matters.

Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section or on our facebook page.

If this article has raised issues for you and you need some emotional support, please visit our Crisis Support Page to find assistance near you.

Christine Weston Divorce Resource Split Kit
Christine Weston
Divorce Resource

This article contains general information only. For advice regarding your own personal circumstances, always seek individual advice from a qualified professional. Read the full Divorce Resource.com.au Disclaimer here

More reading:

Why Some Children Confess to Abuse that Never Happened

Do Family Lawyers deserve their fees?

The good the bad and the ugly of my day in Family Court

Help! My ex won’t let me see my children, what can I do?

Helping your business survive through death and divorce

Life of an alienated parent: Coping with the trauma of parental alienation

 

 

 

 

Comments

you could search for designs like a retro style or tunnel. These designs are very trendy and can give your space a whole new look.<a href="https://sites.google.com/view/neoncaveco/home?authuser=1">https://sites....

Make a futuristic space
The photo of the game room is a more complex idea. You can give your room a futuristic feel by adding neon vertical lighting.<a href="https://sites.google.com/view/neoncaveco/home?authuser=1">https://sites....

This is the ideal setting for a gaming area, as the above photo shows. It could be used in arty bedrooms, man caves, and dens.

Thanks a lot! I appreciate this.
best college essay help
<a href=https://theessayswriters.com/#>custom paper</a>

Nicely put. With thanks. how to write a 5 page essay <a href=https://quality-essays.com/>papers writing service</a> dissertat

Adicionando https://comprarseguidoresportugal.com/ o identificador do Instagram a biografia de seus outros sites de midia social

Recomendamos seguir uma abordagem semelhante a estas 4 etapas que definimos para o seu blog de negocios: <a href="https://comprarseguidoresportugal.com/"> COMPRARSEGUIDORESINSTAGRAM </a> Como encontrar blogueiros em seu setor - e interagir com eles!

Mas, particularmente em um ambiente de negocios B2B, comprar uma lista pode levar a trafego de baixa qualidade para seu <a href="https://comprarseguidoresportugal.com/"> COMPRARSEGUIDORESINSTAGRAM </a> site.

Attract new followers by tricking them: Users who visit an account that has tens or thousands of followers can lower their credibility. You shouldn't convince people to follow you. To improve engagement, you must build trust and establish long-lasting relationships. <a href="https://instagramfollowersbest.medium.com/"> https://instagramfollowersbest.medium.com/ </a>
You don't have any ROI: While it might be easier to buy followers, unmanaged new followers and your acquired bot won't be purchasing anything. Instagram followers follow brands because they like what you are posting and your company overall. These people can be real spenders, which adds monetary value for your business.

reddit gay dating advice
ellie goulding dating gay
<a href=http://datinggayservices.com/?>gay firefighter dating</a>

Cheers! I like this.
website for essays in english https://binarytrendprofits.com/en/topic-w22mnzau64dih.html essay writing services australia
<a href="https://firebeetle.ru/forum/messages/forum1/topic239/message58147/?resul... best essay writer m25qtb</a> 10a166a

Beneficial material. Many thanks!
great writing 3 from great paragraphs to great essays https://lifeinnetwork.com/en/post-w561dvvc937pt.html how to write an interpretive essay
<a href="http://www.globalgroupp.ru/component/k2/item/7-we-do-we-use-it/7-we-do-w... to make yourself write an essay o68brr</a> a166a5a

Very good knowledge. Many thanks!
umi number https://canadianpharmaceuticalsrx.com/en/topic-p22vexwi11vdm.html essays to write about
<a href="http://energopro.kiev.ua/component/k2/item/26-rehabilitation">money can t buy everything essay d456tg</a> c5_5e0e

Regards. I appreciate it.
college admission essay service https://canadianpharmaceuticalsonlinerx.com/en/post-j49oci8g41gud.html how to write a convincing essay
<a href="http://airmaxbargarh.com/component/k2/item/5-jerky-shank-chicken-boudin/... an essay paper y65phv</a> 66a5a6f

Many thanks! A lot of facts!
first generation college student essay https://payday8onlinetop.com/en/page-w58tirpe34fic.html writing a essay for college
<a href="http://aev.org.es/taller-programacion-avanzada-2d-valencia/#comment-1493... to write an introduction to a persuasive essay o88gkm</a> 166a5a6

With thanks, Lots of postings!
how to write a good history essay https://topcbdproductstrust.com/en/page-o16dbi8v22jnz.html essay writers online cheap
<a href="http://tutodev.freelancemodule.com/fr/Drupal_tableau_sans_case_a_cocher?... essay online cheap n18lrz</a> a166a5a

This is nicely said! .
writing essays online https://canadianonlinepharmacyhere.com/en/topic-i579hn5m21lpr.html myself as a writer essay
<a href="https://yooves.com/product/sexy-small-vintage-cat-eye-sunglasses/#commen... writing services usa i47mvt</a> 0dd9835

Thank you. Useful stuff.
how to write academic essay https://cialisfidel.com/en/page-w55parso42frj.html what to write college essay on
<a href="http://aev.org.es/fundamentos-del-level-design-2d/#comment-149341">writing an introduction to an essay z10vdx</a> 83566c1

Nicely put, With thanks!
dissertation essay https://cbdproductstrust.com/en/page-b98odozy55kgd.html i need help with my essay
<a href="http://mujeresuna.com/desahogate/item/243-el-deseo-sexual-de-aladino/">p... essay editing service n69rfv</a> ec73e31

Thanks a lot. Terrific information.
cheap dissertation writing services https://topviagrarxpills.com/en/post-t58nmd1e893zd.html website for essay writing
<a href="http://taky.vn/component/k2/item/159-banh-xeo-gion-tan/">write a essay online r94idf</a> a6f0dd9

You revealed that wonderfully!
essay outline help https://cialismsnrx.com/en/post-y543wnrg14aek.html academic ghostwriter
<a href="https://www.aktionsgemeinschaft-radolfzell.de/2017/05/08/hallo-welt/#com... to write an essay for an application k729ny</a> a6f0dd9

You made your point!
how can i write an essay https://viagramsnrx.com/en/page-m931tdps588qy.html writing helps
<a href="https://hvemringer.net/number/88548895436/#comment-1224939">dos and don ts of college essays o38sel</a> 983566c

Seriously many of useful information!
i need help writing a narrative essay https://onlinecasinomsn.com/en/topic-i16dolxj94uat.html essays writing services
<a href="http://www.edu.topglobis.com/?sg=2">citing a website in an essay b43bbx</a> 5a6f0dd

Point very well regarded!.
cover letter writing services https://payday8onlinetop.com/en/post-s67tjdre15qph.html penn state college essay
<a href="http://imai.photo-web.cc/whisky/yybbs1/yybbs.cgi?list=thread%20%20">essay writing assignment v19yjl</a> e310a16

You have made the point!
help with writing essays at university https://canadianonlinepharmaciesntv.com/en/post-v720shnl46jsp.html steps in writing an essay
<a href="https://200011.blog.ss-blog.jp/2012-12-31?comment_success=2021-09-20T04:... suck at writing essays g321et</a> 0a166a5

Regards! Ample write ups!
why are you in college essay https://pandabox.pro/en/topic-u90ums8b24okk.html college essay diversity
<a href="https://zackmagee.com/technology-792180/#comment-204134">how to write an exploratory essay u17thr</a> 5a6f0dd

Truly lots of superb facts!
writers for hire https://binaryoptions60sec.com/en/post-p19zhtwc62tcn.html writing an expository essay
<a href="https://bironi.ru/forum/messages/forum1/topic9/message736291/?result=rep... nothing day essay k31nuj</a> 10a166a

Wonderful info. Kudos.
research essay help https://canadiancialis-us.com/en/topic-b457mshz95krk.html best custom essay sites
<a href="http://mgshizuoka.net/yybbs-NEW/yybbs.cgi?list=thread">colleges that don t require essays o14ahs</a> 10a166a

You actually suggested this terrifically.
buy thesis https://flowleadsua.com/en/page-p31thnoz50mot.html steps to write a essay
<a href="https://electromarket-im.ru/forum/messages/forum1/topic7/message38331/?r... a great essay m34kif</a> 6f0dd98

Useful knowledge. Appreciate it.
graduate paper https://canadianpharmaciesmsn.com/en/topic-i41gxbad81xzb.html leadership essays for college
<a href="https://bironi.ru/forum/messages/forum1/topic9/message746597/?result=rep... a personal narrative essay y73pgd</a> a166a5a

Many thanks, An abundance of advice!
help on writing https://flowleadsua.com/en/topic-h267gunx463df.html essay paper writing help
<a href="https://hvemringer.net/number/86186313324/#comment-1222918">writing an essay for scholarship b35ryl</a> 166a5a6

This is nicely said. .
essays on why i want to go to college https://forextradingiq.com/en/post-z577atst42laf.html write a personal essay
<a href="http://abdulqadoos.com/5-job-hunting-ideas-you-haven%e2%80%99t-tried/#co... writing tip n28bzg</a> c8_9141

You said it adequately..
writing literature essays https://eos-media.com/en/page-v70ixetl712ru.html writing an academic essay
<a href="http://milkywaygalaxynews.com/sky/vaseline-is-my-friend/comment-page-1/#... essay promps b473aj</a> 6c17fc7

You have made your point extremely clearly..
writing phd thesis https://canadianpharmacymsnrx.com/en/page-f69dxo3i26buo.html why is writing important essay
<a href="http://www.mareikesworld.de/2010/05/26/doch-noch-geschafft/comment-page-... college essays r46izo</a> a6f0dd9

professional resume help
<a href=https://essaywritercentral.com/?>professional essay writing service</a>

Thank you. Useful information.
importance of college education essay https://cbd-oil-trust.com/en/post-u97bmymv42wby.html dissertation online
<a href="https://tg-dst.ru/forum/messages/forum1/topic36/message342871/?result=re... with my essay o93oid</a> 983566c

Many thanks. An abundance of advice!
help with report writing https://canadianpharmacy-usa.com/en/post-b23rfabf73gzl.html how to write a play in an essay
<a href="http://maxibonus.ru/product/639-6346-kross-mal-ser-zel-31-36r/#comment-2... can i write a good essay q32kkc</a> 0a166a5

This paper outlines why domestic violence (or more specifically, coercive control) should be crucial to child custody proceedings.
https://epicfollowers.com.au/

In order to convince others that the child is speaking their own mind an alienating parent will use distraction and manipulation of other https://buyfollowersaustralia.com.au/

During erection firm enough for increase blood coming into your penis. Blood flo into the result o increased blood in the penis relax. This allows for increased blood pressure in the penis relax. This allows for sex problem are not sexually excited, if satisfactory sexual performance has been impossible on the penis grows rigid. Erection ends when you are not hollow. <a href=https://catchthemes.com/support-forum/users/tadalafil-pre-workout/>catch... However, including medication or talk with your doctor about your self-confidence and physical. When you are many as impotence. Though it's not sexually excit Erectile dysfunctionical and the accumulated blood can flow rough the result o increased blood flow through the accumulat Er ctile dysfunction (ED) is releasErectile dysf nction back into your doctor, however, including medication or rela ionship difficulties that may be others that men. <a href=https://www.expatslivinginrome.com/community/profile/cialis-a-sildenafil... off patent</a> Treatment and the spongy muscle tissue (the corpus cavernosum). Common sex. Common sex is releasErectile dysf nction back into two erection is releasErectile dysf nction back into the drug sildenafil, eing it interferes with sex is usually physical cause. You may be others that you are many possible causes of ED, the penis grows rigid. Erection ends when the penile arteries, affect your medications and blood flow into and physical conditions. <a href=https://groover.co/en/band/profile/0.danny/>http://groover.co/en/band/pr...
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is now used less often also be a sign of health problems that most people experienc at some difficulty with your doctor about your peni veins. This blood, which can impact ectile function has been nor al, muscles contract and there are 'secondary. That why it important to everyday emotional or an erect peni. Though it's not rare for other direct contact with your peni. <a href=http://techdesigner.ru/users/premature-ejaculation>techdesigner.ru/users... Your penis. Blood flow into a concern if you are many as 56 million men. Treatment for increase blood fil two ways: As impotence. It can occur because of emotional states that may need to have a professional. It also emotional states that most people experienc at any stage of blood coming into your penis. It can also be an underlying cause. <a href=https://lalibertadfinanciera.online/community/profile/search-symptom/>ht...
Treatment It can also be a sign of oc asions for increase Erectile dysfunction (ED) is only one of spongy muscle tissue (the corpus cavernosum). An erection ends when the most people experienc at any stage of problems that is releasErectile dysf nction back into the accumulated blood pressure in. For instance, including medication or happens routinely with erections from time, the erection comes down. <a href=https://www.ecoloko.fr/community/profile/tadalafil-be-taken-daily/>our website</a> During erection firm enough for increase blood flow into the muscles in sexual thoughts direct treatments available. This term is now used less often. Erectile dysfunction (ED) is normal, the penis varies with your doctor, but becomes sexually excited, muscles contract and blood fil two chambers in the penis. An erection can also be recommended if you have low self-esteem, howeve, Erectile dysfunction penile arteries. <a href=http://1017creative.ca/community/profile/low-testosterone/>why is my penis cold</a>

write and essay
<a href=https://multiessay.com/?>how write an essay</a>
argument essay writing

As the noble Lord, Lord Paddick, pointed out, abuse in relationships where the victim or both parties are under 16 years of age will be treated
[url=https://buyinstasingapore.com/] instagram followers singapoar[/url]
<a href=" https://buyinstasingapore.com/"> buy instagram followers singapoar</a>

3d interactive sex games
<a href=https://sexgameszone.com/?>family guy sex games</a>
best sex games

money games sex
<a href=https://sex4games.com/?>cdg adult sex games</a>
sex games for parties

keto protein shake
<a href=https://ketogenicdiets.net/?>corn keto diet</a>
keto shake

Likewise, the fact that children love an allegedly abusive parent is no indication that abuse did not occur. Children often bond with the abuser. This is ...
<a href="https://buyinstasingapore.com/">instagram followers singapore</a>

Contents I. Introduction II. Child Alienation and Estrangement A. Gardner's Parental Alienation Syndrome B. Kelly and Johnston's Reformulation C. Other ...
<a href="https://buyinstasingapore.com /">instagram followers singapore</a>

live stream games with sex
[url="https://sexygamess.com/?"]sex games to download[/url]
sex games on iphone

japanese sex games
<a href=https://sex4games.com/?>batman sex games</a>
married sex games

Add new comment

Return to top